“You can’t run away from your problems you know?”

 Yes, I do know that but I can wish can’t I? I can wish and dream about putting my daughter in the car, packing the things that mean the most to us and running far, far away. I dream about the place we would move to, the new people we would meet, the new school she would go to and the new career path I would take. I dream about leaving all that I know behind and starting over fresh somewhere.

I’m done with my life here. I have been here all my life and realistically am tied to this place for the next ten years.  It would be cruel of me to pull her away from the life she knows and loves simply to fulfill my own desires. I shield her as much as I can from all the turbulence and craziness in our life. She doesn’t know any better-as far as he is concerned, everything is just fine. That’s all I want her to know for now—that things are fine.

 I’ve been doing a good job lately of keeping it together and moving forward.  I’m determined to not spiral into a depression or to get so overwhelmed that I can barely function.  Other than writing here I am not talking about this or trying to analyze it. It is what it is.