At the risk of sounding like an immature whiner, I am going to go out on a limb here and just say it:-co-parenting sucks. I hate it.  I know that I should not complain since I chose to go down this road but just  because I chose it does not mean I have to like it. The odds are against you from the start-I mean how the hell are you supposed to peacefully raise a child with someone you can hardly get along with?

It just dawned on me recently that I have no idea how I really feel about co-parenting.  There are times when I think we do a pretty good job and there are plenty of times when I think we both really suck at it.  I realized that part of the reason that it works is also the same thing that pisses me off-his lack of interest and participation. I am not bashing him or saying he is a bad father. I am simply saying that his level of active participation is minimal and sometimes that is not a bad thing( for me).

I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. From day one, I have meticulously researched and sought out the things I have wanted for my daughter.  He has not always agreed with my choices but in the end he has let me have the final say and of course I have done exactly what I wanted.  I am by no means the perfect mother but I am proud to say that so far I made the right choices for my daughter.  I am well aware that things won’t always be this smooth or that I will always make the right call but I am confident in my decision making process and in my ability to adapt.

Some people tell me that I should be happy that I get to call the shots with no hassle and I am. I just worry about the effect it has on my daughter.  I know that the things he and I do and more importantly don’t  do affect her. I have seen the crushed look in her eyes when he has missed her birthday party and her first day of school.  He still does not know what time she gets of out school or what time her dance class starts (despite the fact that she has been attending that class since she was 4) and has never attended a parent teacher conference. He could not tell you the name of her pediatrician or her dentist even if his life depended on it.  He can not claim that I isolate him because that is not the case at all. I have always kept him informed not just by calls but through email and text messages as well. 

 I wish I could say that I am happy with our situation but I am not. I am content and for now that will have to do.