02.27.09
Quote of the Day
– Carl Jung
02.25.09
Banner Year?
This year is shaping up to be quite the year for my best friends-one is expecting her first child, another just got engaged and the other has finally settled down in a serious relationship. I am happy for them, I really am! But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I am also feeling a bit removed from everything.
I am delighted to share in such huge moments in their life and very flattered that they look to me for advice and insight into these things (although seriously? I have no idea why anyone would ask me for advice…have they seen the mess I have made of my life?) There is a part of me that looks at their lives with longing…with a certain amount of “damn I wish I done things the right way”. What is the right way you ask? It is the finishing school, getting married, staying married, planning a family, etc.
I know, I know that there is no “right” way and I know I should not even compare myself to anyone else but sometimes? I just can’t help it. I am not jealous of them…not at all. I know the struggles they have gone through to get where they are at and I know how much they deserve the happiness they have found. I just can’t help but wonder when it will be my turn. I know that having a husband or even a child for that matter can not guarantee my happiness (not that my child does not bring me a tremendous amount of joy..she does!) but I also know how nice it is to share your life with someone.
Outside of my writing-I don’t easily admit to my fears or weaknesses-I have learned to put on a smile and keep moving forward. But here? Here I feel safe enough to admit how scared I am of ending up alone one day. I know how flawed I am and how deep the scars run in my soul. I have a long way to go but for now I will keep smiling and I know soon enough my time will come too.
02.12.09
She Nourishes My Soul
I have a friend, let’s call her Mrs. S…she is the kind of friend that a young single mom like me needs. We met through our children–her son adores my daughter and slowly through play dates and school activities our casual acquaintance grew into a deep friendship.
Her family was quick to “adopt” me and my daughter. Since we met , we have celebrated our children’s birthdays together, holidays and the “movie nights” our children love. She has baked me cakes for my birthdays, held my hand through painful medical procedures and comforted me when I was down and out. She is the first to remind me that I am doing a great job raising my daughter, and the first to help me celebrate my small victories. When I became a citizen-she jumped right in and organized a fabulous dinner party for me.
The first year we met, I would see her every afternoon. At that time my daughter was getting out of school at 2pm so I would take my lunch at 1:45, rush over to get her and drive her home & drive right back to work. Needless to say I was not doing much eating on my “lunch”. Once she realized this, she would bring me a home cooked lunch pretty much every day! How awesome is that? I don’t see her in the afternoons anymore but every time we have a parent meeting (like last night’s 90 minute spiel about First Holy Communion) she always brings me food.
The year we met she nourished my body with her food and now her love and friendship nourish my soul. Just another reminder that I am not alone in this journey of mine.
02.05.09
A Blog? Oh yeah…I have one…
So what’s put a damper in my writing lately? Hmmm…some strange combination of writer’s block/laziness/life is just crazy! This year is moving along just as fast as I knew it would and I am trying my best to keep up with it.
Work has been really busy lately and of course I am busy with my position as “Grade Coordinator”. Getting parents lined up to help serve lunch, volunteer for parties and for all the Holy Communion stuff is another job in itself. I am seriously thinking of not being a room mom next year. I have been doing this for three years and I’m kinda over the whole thing. I love being an active part of my daughters education but I think it is time for me to find another way to help.
I have also been super busy helping my friends out. One friend was hospitalized for a week and is now home on bed rest so I have been helping her out as much as I can. And then of course, we got the great news of L2’s pregnancy! Last Saturday I drove up to see her and give her a brand new copy of “What to expect when your expecting” and a FIT Pregnancy magazine. I am so happy to be able to share such a special time with her andher wonderful husband.
I’m looking forward to this month though because Belle has a week off from school which means I get a week off from waking up at the crack of dawn! Yesterday was my first babys’ 22nd birthday ( LOVE YOU, S) and Saturday we are going to to dinner to celebrate! In a couple of weeks I finally get to see Audyre Sessions LIVE !!!!! I am so super excited about that!! I’m sure it will be a great show. All in all, this month is shaping up quite nicely!
Here’s to a Fabulous February!
