04.16.08
7
My Love,
Happy Birthday! Lucky number 7!
Seven years ago today-I was holding you in my arms, thanking God for gracing me with the privilege of being your mother. From the moment you were born, you have captivated me like no other. I am in awe of you–your intelligence, your charm, your ability to love unconditionally, your zest for life.
You have taught me more in your seven years than you can possibly imagine. The bond we share is the foundation of my soul. Without you-I am nothing. You define me in the most important way and you give me a reason for being.
I am not perfect-something you know all too well-but- I love you with every ounce of my being. I will always protect, guide and love you no matter what the cost. My love for you will serve as a guide for my choices for the both of us. There will be times when you do not understand this but trust me that I am doing the best that I can.
We have a long journey ahead of us, one that will be filled with ups and downs. Years ago, the prospect of this journey was one full of darkness and confusion. With you by my side, things are different. The darkness has been replaced by light and the confusion has turned to a deep certainty that no matter what-you and I will always be alright.
So on your seventh birthday-I wish you all the best that life has to offer..love, health, happiness and the wisdom to appreciate it all.
All My Love Always,
Mom
04.04.08
Thank You
It is obvious that our relationship will never be quite what either of us expected. We have failed each other in so many ways. I suppose the odds were against us from the start but somehow I thought we would be different. I admired your strength and the deep love you had for the people around you. I saw everything that you did through the eyes of a child who desperately wants to believe that everything you say and do is right.
And then I grew up. Suddenly the very things that I used to admire were gone…replaced by a weakness I had never seen and a blind love that made you incapable of seeing reality. I grew stronger in my own thoughts and opinions and I never hesitated to tell you what I thought-even when I knew it would hurt you. I spent countless nights crying myself to sleep, wishing that you would just go back to being the person I thought you were. It took years for me to see that perhaps you had always been this way and the images I had of you were an idolized version of your true self.
I have come to terms with the dynamics of our relationship-the boundaries that you do not know how to respect, your utter disregard for reality and mostly your unwillingness to change. I will always love you and be thankful for the lessons you taught me. Nobody could have taught me what NOT to be better than you.
Thank you.
